JUNE 2001- NOW Quotable Quotations

I guess you'd call it suicide
But I'm too full,
to swallow my pride.
FROM I CAN'T STAND LOOSING, BY THE POLICE

And I guess that's why they call it the blues,
time on my hands,
would be time spent with you.
Laughing like children.
Living like lovers,
Rolling like thunder
-Under the covers.
And I guess that's why they call it the blues.
FROM I GUESS THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE BLUES, BY ELTON JOHN

I'm everything you want
I'm everything you need
I'm everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time,
But I mean nothing to you
and I don't know why.
FROM EVERYTHING YOU WANT, BY VERTICAL HORIZON

I nominate Sada, because...She's a bit of a bitch.
CRAIG, WINNER OF BIG BROTHER I

Memories of yesterday
That once were strong,
now the dreams you had
of days gone by,
keep you holding on.
FROM BUGGIN' BY DANE BOWERS

I was an English Teacher- created to read books, drink cups of sugary tea and popularise sarcasm as a higher form of wit.
FROM MY LEGENDARY GIRLFRIEND, BY MIKE GAYLE

I think I'm going mad, Ted.
FATHER DOUGAL, FATHER TED

Hes like a movie star
Without movies.
FROM SELL, SELL, SELL, BY THE BARENAKED LADIES

That's Frank Sinatra on toast, that is.
LES, DINNERLADIES

Im happy!
Im feeling glad,
I've got sunshine,
In a bag.
Im useless
But not for long,
The future,
Is coming on.
FROM CLINT EASTWOOD, BY THE GORRILAZ

Sexual intercourse began
In 1963 (which was rather late for me)
Between the end of the Chatterly ban
And the Beatles first LP.
PHILLIP LARKIN

I've got a horrible feeling that if there is such a thing as reincarnation, I'm coming back as me.
RODNEY, ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES

Do you hear me Miss Eyre?
"I hear you as clearly as though you were speaking Greek, Sir..."
MR. ROCHESTER AND JANE, JANE EYRE BY CHARLOTTE BRONTE

You said the brains I had
Went to my head.
FROM DONT LOOK BACK IN ANGER BY OASIS

If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich.
FROM IF I HAD $100,000,000 by THE BNL

Something was dead in each of us
And what was dead, was hope.
FROM THE BALLAD OF READING JAIL, BY OSCAR WILDE

I'm busy wondering how.
FROM THE LIAR, BY STEPHEN FRY

Maybe its all a massive wind-up
SHELLEY BARTON

Now, if you thought only gays ride bicycles, think again.
ALI G

I guess what they say is true,
I could never spend my life with a man like you,
I could never be your woman.
FROM I COULD NEVER BE YOUR WOMAN, BY ??

Who are the winners in the game were playing?
I dont even think they know.
RICHARD ASHCROFT

Why does your love
Hurt so much?
I dont know why.
FROM WHY DOES YOUR LOVE HURT SO MUCH, BY CARLY SIMON

Oh the changes Id make
If I had the power!
How could I have so much, and be so blind?
But at least for a bright and shining moment
I had you and the world was mine.
FROM WHEN THE WORLD WAS MINE, BY RONAN KEATING

Sometimes my world seems very unreal indeed
TONY BLAIR

Godfrey said that we were not righteous, one day when he was drunk. He told me that we were all doomed and there was no use praying.
FROM WIDE SARGASSO SEA, BY JEAN RHYS

I met a girl
She was a complete mess.
I should have left her well alone
(but oh no, not me...)....

...You dont really love me,
And I dont really mind.
FROM THE FROG PRINCESS, BY THE DIVINE COMEDY

And its time to make
The final break.
But the memories will linger forever.

And if I never see you again
And think of me now and then
Though it hurts so sweetly.
They say all good things come to an end.
You changed my life completely
(Im touched by your love)
even if I never see you again.
FROM IF I NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN, BY WET WET WET

You see heaven is overrated.
FROM DROPS OF JUPITER BY TRAIN

Love was Adrians guilty secret, sex his public pride.
FROM THE LIAR BY STEPHEN FRY

Make love: not tea.
FROM "THE HIPPO..." BY STEPHEN FRY

It ain't through the eyes that you see beauty, it's how the heart hungers for something.

...But I ain't got me peace of mind, and if you ain't got that you ain't got nothing. It seems to me that if they ain't got you one way, they've got you another.

MICHAEL CAINE, IN ALFIE

I could put my arms around

Every boy I see

-They'd only remind me of you.

I went to the doctors

Guess what he told me

(Guess what he told me?)

He said:

"Girl, you gotta try and have fun no matter what you do."

But he's a fool.

FROM NOTHING COMPARES 2 U, BY SINEAD O'CONNER

Some times it's not so easy
To be the teachers pet.
FROM DON'T STAND SO CLOSE TO ME, BY THE POLICE

It's like trying to find gold

In the silver mile

It's like trying to drink whiskey

From a bottle of wine.

FROM HONKY CAT, BY ELTON JOHN

I will never do anything.

THE BNL

He's just like a movie star...

...Without movies.

THE BNL

All these things

Will come to pass

When hereos of the middle class

Face up to their responsibilities.

FROM MIDDLE CLASS HEROES BY THE DIVINE COMEDY

I can put on the purfume

Even wear the dress sometimes

But I'll always be the bridegroom

and never the bride.

THE DC

There may be anti-wrinkle cream, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is not.

DAVE, THE FULL MONTY

I just wanted to kiss her whenever she said something clever. Which was most of the time.

"So you don't have a son?"

No, I just made him up.

"Why?"

To meet women.

"You bastard!"

Yeah.

Oh God, here comes the Anti-Christ.

HUGH GRANT, ABOUT A BOY

Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.

SEMISONIC

There was a time in your life

I know you could see

A future there before you

And how perfect life can be

But the future calls

With unknown voices

Tearing you away.

Be careful or you may regret

The choice you make some day...

...The love is gone.

The love is gone.

The sweetest thing

That we have ever known!

The love is gone.

I wish you well

But I must leave you now,

Alone.

FROM "THE LOVE IS GONE" IN "A MUPPETS CHRISTMAS CAROL"

I'll love you till my fountain pen runs dry...

...Cheap, never cheap

I'll sing you sings till you're asleep

And when you're gone

Downstairs I'll creep

And write it all down.

Oh Shirley, Oh Deborah, Oh Julie, Oh Jane

I wrote so many songs about you

I forget your name.

Jennifer, Alison, Philippa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel too.

FROM SONG FOR WHOEVER, BY THE BEAUTIFUL SOUTH

Does the truth matter to him or have the lies become more important?

FROM A DOCUMENTRY I WATCHED ON LIARS

Lovers at first sight.

FROM "STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT" BY FRANK SINATRA

Is my enemies enemy my friend?

AN UNCHARACTERISTICLY PHILISOPHICAL MOMENT FROM BLADE II

The clocks are always slow, it's later than you think.

ANON

"I am not a pervert!"

That's like the pervert motto! They make you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants and repeat that!

ROSS AND PHEOBE, FRIENDS

I saw a couple of girls and thought I'd shag them.

A TYPICALLY CLASSY DISGRACED TORY MP

How could I ever refuse? I feel like I win when I loose.

ABBA

They say that love's justa chemical reaction in the brain...so won't you be my busen burner? Will you be my naked flame?

NO IDEA WHO SAID IT, BUT LITTLE FRIEND, LITTLE PAUL, SAYS IT SO WELL.

Writers were pathetic people.

Hiding from it

And making it up.

FROM 'WUTHERING HEIGHTS' BY TED HUGHES

If you're Everything you might as well be Nothing.

Kneecaps only exist to get hit with claw-hammers; grace only exists to be fallen from.

FROM 'I, LUCIFER' BY GLEN DUCAN

My God got out on the wrong side of his bed.

FROM 'LITTLE BY LITTLE' BY OASIS

One day they'll say I gave birth to the twentieth century.

WORDS ATTRIBUTED TO JACK THE RIPPER

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

FROM HARRY POTTER

Lovers at first sight.

FROM "STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT" BY FRANK SINATRA

Is my enemies enemy my friend?

AN UNCHARACTERISTICLY PHILISOPHICAL MOMENT FROM BLADE II

The clocks are always slow, it's later than you think.

ANON

I'm so happy.

CARTMAN WHEN HE GOT HIS OWN THEME PARK

And if the bottle's no solution
Why does it feel so warm
And if that girl is no solution
Why did she feel so warm
And if to feel is no solution
Why do I feel
Why do I feel so tired
Why do I feel so broken
Why do I feel so outside
Why do I seem so blind?
I'm so sick of feeling
It's ruined my life.

FROM WHEN I MEET GOD BY MARILLION

But I need a new word to describe you

FROM 'NO ONE CAN' ALSO BY MARILLION

THE OFFICE

I don't know where were going tonight. Obviously Finchys a sophisticated guy, and Gareths a culture vulture, so will it be opera, ballet? I dont know. I think the RSCs in town, so er... having said that at Chasers it's Hooch for a pound and wonderbras get in free night.....

(Could I just state this is very much like my life, and I want to marry whoever wrote this? Cheers.)

Slough's nightlife is incredible; its got two nightclubs, its got Chasers and New York, New York... They call it the nightclub that never sleeps. That closes at one. There was, oh my God, a themed nightclub called Henry the Eights. This was incredible. It had the Anne Bol-Inn, this is true, as you went into the loo, there was a sign that said mind your head, nice, and underneath someone had written And dont get your Hampton Court. It's not there any more. But not a day goes by that I dont think about it.

TIM, DISCUSSING SLOUGH'S PUBS AND CLUBS

I like ballet, I love the novels of Proust, I love the work of Alan Delon, and I think thats what influenced her buying me Hat FM. I like the radio to!

TIM, WHEN HIS MUM BROUGHT HIM "HAT FM" FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. IT'S A HAT, THAT'S ALSO A RADIO! GENIUS.

People see me, and they see the suit, and they go: you're not fooling anyone, they know I'm rock and roll through and through. But you know that old thing, live fast, die young? Not my way. Live fast, sure, live too bloody fast sometimes, but die young? Die old. Thats the way- not orthodox, I dont live by the rules you know. And if theres one other person who's influenced me in that way I think, someone who is a maverick, someone who does that to the system, then, its Ian Botham. Because Beefy will happily say thats what I think of your selection policy, yes I've hit the odd copper, yes Ive enjoyed the old dooby, but will you piss off and leave me alone, Im walking to John OGroats for some spastics..

DAVID

I can read women. And you've got to know their wants and their needs, and that can be anything from making sure she's got enough money to buy groceries each week to making sure shes gratified sexually after intercourse.

A BIG "CHEERS" TO GARETH

Now guys, were about to enter a warehouse environment, now I must warn you that some of the people in here will be working class, so there may be arse cleavage. So just find a partner, hold hands. Don't talk to anyone though.

TIM

Free love on the free love freeway

Where the love is free

and the freeway's long.

THE GENERAL GIST OF DAVID'S SELF-PENNED SONG, 'FREE LOVE ON THE FREE LOVE FREEWAY'

'Well it doesn't bother me because I'm not listening to you and if I can't hear it you're not saying it.'

'Then you won't hear this: you're cock, you're a cock, you're a cock."

GARETH AND TIM